A Trip to the Market

The other day, a coworker and I went out to a grocery store near our office to buy a cake for our soon-to-be-ex-coworker. It was his last day and also his birthday, and we thought we'd get him something nice to celebrate. The store itself was a maze because the entrance and the exit doors were on different sides of the place. It was difficult to find even a bakery section.

Once we walked in, my coworker stopped to ask an employee and sure enough, the cakes were 2 feet ahead of us. After perusing the selections, we decided upon a cute mango mousse cupcake that was big enough for the one candle we happened to find in our office kitchen. When we finally got the attention of the employee behind the counter, he proceeded to box it for us.

Desserts behind the glass always look so tempting to me, but ever since I gave up eggs, it's been hard to find a bakery that caters to my specific dietary needs. But there's no harm in asking right?

Wrong.

Me: Just out of curiosity, are any of these made without eggs?
Man: (in loud and obnoxious voice) Dairy means they all have eggs!

Oh really? Surely there wasn't a need to supply such a verbose answer in a condescending way. I let it go though because I already knew I'd have no luck with it.

As he handed me the box, my coworker held out her credit card to him. And then he continued his unnecessary shenanigans.

Man: Are you giving me your card, or are you paying?
Coworker: Oh um (flustered) I didn't--.
Man: Because you can give me your card and there's a bank across the street.
Coworker: ... (smiles nervously)
Man: Where are you from?
Me: Oh lord.
Man: Are you from India?
Coworker: Uh yes. (looks at me to roll her eyes)
Man: You know how to make (terribly pronounced) rotis and naans and tandooris?
Coworker: ..........
Man: ....
Coworker: .....Yes.
Man: You know I haven't had them in over 10 years!
Coworker: .......Okay...
Man: And I've also had (lists what I'm sure is about 3 pages of the index section of his recently bought Indian Cooking To Impress the Ladies: 2nd Edition book).
Coworker: Oh, okay.
Man: (smiles) You have to pay up front.

Seriously? Did we have time for him to launch into his whole "Gurl, where you from?" routine? No. Couldn't he have wasted less of our time by simply stating what we needed to be told right away? 
     - Do any of these not have eggs? No.
     - Here's my card. You actually need to pay up front.

What was wrong with that?

Key Takeaways

1. Dairy does *NOT* mean eggs.
2. His lengthy flirting lines cost us an extra 7 minutes to get back to the office.
3. I could be exaggerating with #2.
4. She's married, hello? Lady?
5. Coworker should've been more casually dismissive instead of constantly looking at me to roll her eyes. 
6. And flashed her ring.
7. Soon-to-be-ex-coworker enjoyed the cupcake very much. 

Or maybe I should've just said something. The whole episode was just weird.

Sleep...I'll Pay You If You Come

If you are reading this article past 3 AM, I’m glad to know I have some company. Ever since the last day of high school, when we had an event called Project Graduation, to serve us a last moment together without homework or exams or any worries until 6 in the morning, my sleeping pattern has been disturbed, if not completely eradicated. This went on into the years of undergrad college life, and has decided to stick. I’ve since graduated and moved on with my life, working in the “real world” and settling in on my own. And while I plug away at life’s continuous cyclic demands, somehow I find myself a perpetual insomniac. What gives?


I have tried all kinds of things. I’ve used herbal remedies and even Eastern Ayurvedic medicines recommended by a friend’s father. I’ve tried to count sheep, cats, even elephants (though it’s hard to imagine elephants jumping over a fence). I’ve turned off the television, radio, computer, all those “mind stimulating” objects, and decided instead to pick up a book and listen to relaxation or new age music. I’ve changed my diet, I’ve tried sleep eye masks, changed my mattress, changed my pillow, even changed my sleeping position. But to no avail. I keep seeing commercials for sleep medications, like Ambien and Lunesta. Those people apparently sleep like babies. My doctor tells me my condition is not “poor” enough to take them. So I lie awake at nigh, sometimes past 4 or 5 in the morning. Is it possible to be jet-lagged without having been on a plane?


I'm starting to think of embracing this kind of a lifestyle, staying awake all night and working on these fabulously entertaining articles (or incredibly boring ones that make you go to sleep, either way they serve a purpose). But then again I see too many downfalls with this kind of a life, mainly that I have nothing or no one to keep me entertained (besides those hilariously awful infomercials…anyone see that slap chop rap one?). So if any of my dedicated readers have any suggestions about how I can fix my sleep issues, or if you know any hunky men who can keep me company till sunrise, please let me know!

Jersey Shore (As Kids)

If you haven't seen this by now, you probably should. It's a hilarious spoof on Jersey Shore. I haven't actually seen the show...ever, but I would definitely love to see this one, (although I'm sure someone somewhere would have a problem with the use of the kids in it.)

Have you seen Jersey Shore? Is it worth the watch?

Clueless (The Movie)

Since I saw the series way before watching the movie that spun off into the television show, I had to get used to Alicia Silverstone playing Cher. I know, it’s weird considering she was Cher first, but whatever. Anyway, I decided to watch this on a random weeknight since I had nothing better to do and wanted to check it off my “Eventually” list.


It was actually pretty funny and cute. Cher Horowitz (Alicia Silverstone) is the daughter of a rich, successful lawyer, and the most popular girl at Beverly Hills High School. Her best friend Dionne (Stacey Dash) spends time with her going shopping, or talking about boys or clothes or both. Dionne pairs herself up with boyfriend Murray (Donald Faison) and is constantly frustrated regarding the ups and downs of their relationship. Elisa Donovan plays Amber, Cher’s mortal enemy, who is jealous of Cher’s popularity and tries to take her place. Then Tai (Brittany Murphy) arrives, and Cher decides it will be her personal project to turn this transfer student in desperate need of a fashion makeover into a new recruit into their elite popularity squad. But is three a welcome or a crowd?


At first, it seems like the movie is your run-of-the-mill rich airheads run the school type film. But as the movie progresses, and we listen in on Cher’s inner thoughts and feelings, we learn that there is a little more to her character than meets the eye. Although she may be passed off for being “clueless” about so many things, there were plenty of topics she remained knowledgeable about, including manipulating her way into getting better grades not only for herself but for the whole school, while making sure the teachers also won in the process. True, that may not be considered so noble and praiseworthy, however Alicia Silverstone’s acting, facial expressions, and body language all give Cher’s character the arrogance and vulnerability that was needed, with a little comedic edge. Though the rest of the cast does not necessarily have as big of a part in the movie, their supportive roles really shine throughout.


The territory of high school has not remained unexplored prior to this movie, nor has it after, but the humor elements and the clarity with which the characters’ true natures are explored give this movie a great purpose. Director Amy Heckerling was far from clueless when she made this movie, and you’d be far from clueless if you decide to watch it. Especially great for fans of the actors or the genre. I’d give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars.